Guarding the Heart

Heart courtesy of George Hodan

How long must I wrestle with my thoughts
    and day after day have sorrow in my heart?
    How long will my enemy triumph over me?

Psalm 13:2 NIV

Numb

I am not feeling at all right now which is pretty good. Because numb is the best feeling in the world to me sometimes. I’d just rather not feel at all then feel the pain I feel during this healing season of my life. The numbness is a front which manages my emotions. It is a mechanism my mind created at an early age due to trauma.

No Longer

But all of this numbness has lately been reading the spectacular emotional roller coaster ride of the Psalms. God has been shaking me awake to being aware of the desire to remain numb. And that this is just a protective device I don’t need any longer. An unhealthy way of coping. So in return I have decided to give the Lord feeling. Allow Him to touch and hold the pain and the hurt. Allow Him to apply the balm of Gilead to my heart and wounds. Let the walls fall down slowly. To be built again like they rebuilt the wall in Nehemiah. Guarding my heart His way which I’ll get to next time.

Above all else, guard your heart,
    for everything you do flows from it.

Proverbs 4:23 NIV

I am linking up with Coffee for your heart so click below and come on over for something warm for the soul.