Arguing With Myself
ME, MYSELF, AND I
Have you ever found yourself arguing with yourself? Some days my own worst enemy is me, myself, and I. In the darkness of my mind I hear the voices of condemnation, of inadequacy, and of torment and I just agree with them. I know how to add to those voices too. It’s like I say, “Yep, you are so right and you know what else sucks about me. Blah, blah, blah.”
Not every thought is from God or the enemy. We have our own thoughts mixed in there. We can actually choose who we are going to listen to. We can control what thoughts rent space in our minds. The pastor from my old church used to say. “Starve your doubts and feed your faith.” Still I have this issue with berating myself. Stinking thinking lingers. I feed the doubts, et cetera. Then, as if it wasn’t enough that I have been hit in the rear bumper by the enemy I drive myself right over the proverbial low self-esteem cliff.
WAIT A MINUTE
Days later I come to my senses with the final impact of the air depleting bag of despair. I capture those invasive thoughts, and I hit back. “Hey, wait a minute. I don’t think so. I am a new creature in Christ.” I realize that I have given the enemy plenty of weapons to use against me. And, don’t think for a minute I have not surrendered my armor too. So I start arguing with myself.
8 Finally, brothers and sisters, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable—if anything is excellent or praiseworthy—think about such things.
Philippians 4:8 NIV
REWIND AND EQUIP
I start thinking and speaking the truth of God’s word over myself and take back my armor. I put each piece with the intention of reaching into God’s arsenal and wreaking havoc on those thoughts of doubt, fear, condemnation, and so forth. But first I let the enemy of my soul have it. I give God praise. Scary praise. You know the kind that scares the kids because it is so loud. I praise and get on my face before the Lord.
Then I put on my helmet of salvation. I strap on my breastplate of righteousness in Christ. With just this portion of armor my heart and mind will operate from a grace place. I lift my head and stand to my feet. I slide on the belt of truth with a tight grip on God’s word making sure to buckle it. My feet slip into shoes of the gospel of peace. I stand taller and I raise up my shield of faith in God. I shout at myself, “The devil is a liar!”
I begin to pray the Word of God out loud. I slice at the darkness with the sword of the word and light penetrates my being. I suddenly realize that the battle is not mine. It’s the Lord’s. Then I rest in the words spoken as peace surrounds me. All because I stopped believing who I said I was and started believing I am who God says I am. But, that’s not all I believed it out loud.
Go ahead and argue with yourself today. Stop taking your own abuse and fall into the arms of grace. Lift up your voice and give a scary praise to the God who is truth, and has loved you with an everlasting love. Speak the truth. Fight the good fight of faith. <3 Melinda