From a Chrysalis: Fearless
When it came time for me to graduate from high school people wanted to know what I wanted to do with my life. They asked me where I planned on furthering my education, and questions like, “What are you goals?” The answer was, “I have no clue!”
Somehow, after many trials at many places of employment, I decided that X-ray school was a great idea. So for two full (and a half years, due to pregnancy) I gave it all I had, and graduated. Now I was an X-ray technologist, and it was time to put my skills to work.
Yet, when I first ventured away from the hospital I had learned all of my skills in, I ended up getting a job as a clerk at the local golf pro-shop. A professional in a place of hiding. Even though it was called a pro shop. I had zilch when it came to confidence in my ability to perform as a xray tech.
I finally decided that it was time to swallow down the fear, and get a job. I started working in a family practice. I think their x-ray equipment was on the ark with Noah. I learned a great deal, but in the end, my fear of rejection got in the way of my job performance. Although I excelled at working in the lab and with patient care, my films were not very good. Instead of asking for help with the machine, I just tried to do what I could. My fear eventually cost me my job. And, I was devastated.
I cried and cried, and then got the encouragement to go and get another job in my field of expertise. Expertise? Okay.
From interview to job offer took three days. My career as an X-ray tech had been resurrected. So I worked in that teaching hospital until I moved back home from Georgia. I believe I learned more than I think I taught.
Looking back I know the reason I exceeded my own expectations was because I was learning like an instructor. When I learned something, I knew it was information I would need to share with others.
After many years in clinics following that experience, I became a medical assistant as well. Why? Because I asked questions, that is why. Because when it came to learning more I was fearless.
At the end of my career as a medical assistant and x-ray tech, I had been training new people like hotcakes. No one was able to stay, could do the job, or wanted to work. Eventually the place I worked was filling vacancies with temp agencies. I began to train temp nurses, and got so good at it, I would have them rolling in about an hour.
Then I got restless. All I was doing was teaching others. So when I saw an ad in the paper for an instructor I decided, what could it hurt, the worst they could say was no. So I sent in my resume. Suddenly I received a phone call, and then after an interview, I got the job. I would be the first person to teach this new program.
I swallowed my fear, yet again, and began to teach like I was born for it. Those who did my review told me that they couldn’t believe I had no formal training in teaching besides theirs.
After finding a church home that preached about relationship with Christ, because I was seeking hard after God, I was in a car accident that led me to a diagnosis of Fibromyalgia. In two short months following the accident, I was filing for disability. I could barely walk. The pain was so bad, I could hardly stand it, and before long I was on twelve medications. Somehow I couldn’t swallow this fear down. I was shaken to my core. I was only thirty-two years old, and retired. I just couldn’t handle that. Fearless was nowhere to be found. I was tired of fighting so I didn’t go looking for fearless this time.
Continue this story with me in Friday’s post. Somewhere along the line with Jesus I became fearless once again. Just like it said, I feared less, eventually.
Until then, here is my favorite bible passage about fear and facing it:
Joshua truly depicts what fearless is all about. Read about how he was fearless here. Until Friday meditate on these verses 1-9. Consider how many times God tells Joshua to be courageous.